Get Fit Challenge 2011

Soo....as is my usual habit, I've started more than one thing at a time, and..... here it is...Big Thing # 2, the Get Fit Challenge 2011. So I've got some strategies...counting calories, cheering on my friend Kelly, and being cheered on, and keeping track of my weight at my fitness pal .

Also I joined a gym...yes remember the whole I hate Bally's Total Fitness post from 2006? Well, yeah, I went back last night for a tour of that place, it's improved a little, more cardio equipment, they test the pool 4 times a day, no more contracts, and their hours are MUCH better (5am-10pm M-F), and whatever the weekends are... I have no intentions of going there on Sat/Sun.  The best thing ever about the gym membership?! My insurance reimburses me for the entire cost, so it is, in essence, FREE!, for the whole year!

It was a little sad, the kid giving me the tour told me how to turn on the treadmill, and explained what an elliptical was, and everyone was sweaty and fit, I left feeling fat. I left thinking "The good thing is they have group classes that I think I'll enjoy, and will keep me motivated".

Tonight was the first group class, step aerobics, I used to do step about 3 times a week, and I was awesome, hardly missed a step. This morning, I got my gym bag ready, with my old lock, yes my lock from MCT at least, possibly boot camp, which made me a little sad, I used to be awesome and very fit, ok well mostly I'm still awesome, just fatter. That little minute of sadness was a precursor for the flood to come.

After work I headed to the gym, and the minute I walked in, I felt like I didn't belong there. In general I'm a pretty confident person, but I felt it all melt away, and when I ever walked into that studio with all those mirrors, well let me tell you, I felt laid bare. I tried to find my confidence somewhere and smiled and explained when the teacher asked about my five finger shoes, she loved them by the way! I could do the steps, but not anywhere close to what I used to be ble to do. Each time I saw myself in the mirror I cringed on the inside, me wearing my t-shirt and pajama pants, the other people all fit and pretty in the nike workout clothes, and about halfway through I felt a good cry coming on.

I finished the class, got my stuff from the locker, went to my car and had a good cry. That cry was part humiliation, disappointment, and sadness. It was pretty devastating, that realization of how out of shape, and let's say it, fat, I've allowed myself to get. Then I called my husband, and after that a good friend, I felt better pretty quick. (thanks!)

On the way home I vowed to find my confidence when it comes to the gym, I do belong there, and I know I'll see results as long as I keep going. Plus I reminded myself that I am awesome in so many ways, and I really do love the person I've become, just not the size, and I'm working on that.

Thanks for everyone's support, I love you guys!